You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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poop

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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