why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Barbara Streisand

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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