What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Jordan is pregant

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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say it ten times fast: oh

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Eric is gay Ha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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