Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops