Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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