What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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