How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Nobody cares maddie!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops