Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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women's rights

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What is older than history?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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