What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

women's rights

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

What is older than history?

How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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