What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Then none of us want to be right.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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