ask me if i am a tree. no.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops