why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

speak now or forever hold your pee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops