Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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