What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Robert Mugabe.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops