Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Terry has ebola

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I once did something.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Pickles are powerful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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