What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops