"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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