You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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