How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -44

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops