Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops