Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops