A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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