Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats black white and red all over an abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops