When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

What are annoying? Ads.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

Why did? Yes

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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