What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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