How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

matt is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -23

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops