Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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No antijoke here.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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