They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops