Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Hey Shea

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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