How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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He--Hey guys

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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