knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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were at work systems r down

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops