25

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops