How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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