Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Massie is a fatass

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops