What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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haha

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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