how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops