A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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America

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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