A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Chuck Norris.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Why? Why not?

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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