Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops