This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops