Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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knock knock Goodbye

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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