How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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No it doesnt..

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops