Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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AIDS

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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