Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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No antijoke here.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops