What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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