what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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haha

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What does? 42

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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