Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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12/23/2012

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Badabing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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