Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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