Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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