Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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