What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops