Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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