An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Japan

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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