- Anti Joke

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

Christ is a conspiracy

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.