quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops